Together

I've got to the point where I no longer care if I am sleeping alone. As my husband works and makes it home at 5 o'clock, I lay in bed and only care to dream. Then all day he sleeps till he gets up to go to work again. Seems to be our cycle of things, though there is not alot of time spent with Forrest.  Forrest and I are always together,  he dont need to be put on hold till his dad gets off work. Until then we have our on life, we enjoy every moment like tomorrow will never come. So as he sleeps in the bed, we continue life. So night ****.

Mexico

You never know how much you're spoiled until you meet someone who has nothing but the clothes on their back and a smile on thier face. It was from day one that I was wanting to throw everything away, and give it to a boy; sweet and caring. People on the outside may only see Mexico from a resort view, but thats only a piece. Family, a strong bond that pulls everyone together; because really thats all that they need. As this little boy smiled for an old soccer ball, deep in my heart I wanted to give him more. So the next time I want or my son wants something, I'll imagine this little boy and ask myself do I NEED this?

Quince!!

 Our trip in Mexico :)

Family

Still Standing

I wasn't going to fall for it; a false gesture. Though it was as if nothing changed. We talked as if nothing happened, but for me it was as if I was the only one badly bruised. I could have gave in and hugged him, but I wasn't going to let him hurt me again. Jokes and laughs can engulf us, but my wall is still standing. Time will only tell if I let the wall crumble.

Letting Go

I'm slowly letting him back in. Even though its five minutes I get to at least spend with him, I'm happy. I know I probably won't get my best friend back, but if this is as close as I'll get; I accept. As I listen to songs that remind me of us, I also accept that it was real at one point. True Friends.

Though I can't give him what he wanted, I hope he's happy; even if he's more happy then I am.

When I catch his glance, I sometimes can't look him in the eye. At one point in time, I wanted to give us a try, but why would I want to jeopardize a friendship as close as ours. Even then he barely go into a relationship and I wasn't going to allow my jealousy ruin it. Though he was mine first, I let him go.

Moving on from what "used to be" is hard for me. I don't think I can hug him, tell him I love him. Now that I look back on it I should have given more hugs, took advantage of hugging him; because now I'm paying for it.

So here is the last "I Love You."