Last Week

One more day and I will be gone. Who will miss me and who won't? I'm making my way slowly to the city. A place I never wanted to be living but at least its for a while. I will miss this place, My work. I've meet a lot of new people, became friends with the friendly faces walking in.

I'm Ready to start my car and drive to the lights!

Baby or No Baby...

Doctors appointment went well, but not planning to have another baby till hmm... maybe the end of this year...

Drunk.

They are just words they say. They don't mean it. Others say "their true feeling are said". So I wonder which is it. Someone once dedicated a song to me when they were drunk.

 

"And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight"

 

They told me they missed me, that they think of me. We always wonders what if, but he was still hesitant. Told me to not to believe anything he had said, wait till he was sober. He wanted me to actually hear him.

 

So now what do I believe?

 

But as last night played out, I was shoved away. Told to go visit with someone besides him.

 

As I see it I don't know what to believe. The only time where I wasn't treated bad on left wondering, was the time I spent with my ex-bestfriend. He drank, but no more than 3; at least while I was there. Made me laugh and I had a great time.

 

So why is it that alcohol changed my husband and an old friend, except this one odd relationship. Now this is nothing but a chick rambling on in a mess.


Baptism

changing my mind

If I thought about how many times I'd hope to tell you something important; like "I love you". It would be more than one hundred. The sound of your laughter clouding my entire mind. The sound of you drumming your fingers on the red lunch tables. For me it was never easy giving up my feelings to anyone. But now that it came down to you, I'm missing out. I will continue missing out because I never opened and forced the words off my lips. Instead they linger in my mouth spoiled because you were never given the chance to hear them. Late. Never will be said.