D Word

 I was at a battle with myself.

I was hating the person who stared back at me every time I looked in a mirror.

I was hating the voice inside my head, as well as the voices around me.

I let people control my moods, as well as my actions. 

I missed that person I used to be, she was happy, nice, outgoing; Now, it feels like high school again.

I didn't know how to get myself.

I never had those thoughts.

I have my family, friends, and most of all my children to think about.

But then that was then the voice got louder.

"You're a bad mom"

Not bad ass.

No one knew or understood what was happening to me.

I didn't know what was happening to me.

Alot of tears fell out of me, and I had no way to stop them.

I didn't even know why they were coming out anyways.

Everything was frustrating.

They would say things and it infuriated because they didn't know.

"You're OK, Other people deal with worse, I remember when I...." 

 It became too much for me.

I wanted to run away, I stayed far away from happy people.

Happy Friends, Happy Family, just Happy.

I was afraid my emotions were contagious.

I was afraid I had to fake being happy.

I was plain ol' DEPRESSED.