So far every night since November, I've been having this dream. I'm telling an old friend of my friend of mine that I miss them. I hug them and hope that in return they feel the same way.
But in the end they act as if it doesnt faze them. Sometimes they even push me away.
What is strange about it is that in reality i'm telling my mom and even my sister dani that I want to apologize to my friend. And of course let them know I miss them. Just as what I'm doing in the dream I want to do it in real life. Because of those dream, in reality I dont act on it because I'm afraid of rejection.
My friend and I are no longer friends, and being rejected again is not something I want to go through. So being distant is all I can handle right now, never taking my wall down; as well as my guard.
This pain is worse than it ever was, because no matter how much he made me cry and had this wall built; I'll always care about him.
All I can say is I hate this dream. Eh!
Taylor.
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